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      小沈阳经典搞笑台词(全)

      发布时间:2011-07-18 点击:

      小沈阳经典搞笑台词(全):

      1、这是为什么呢?

      2、走别人的路,让别人无路可走!

      3、我太有才了,上辈子我是裁缝~

      4、都说我长得砢碜,不过我妈挺稀罕我,我妈说:“哎呦儿子,你小时候长得可好看了!妈知道啊~你小时候我一抱你去公园玩,老多人围着问我:“大姐,你家这猴搁哪买的?”

      5、出名了仍要慢慢发展看看我穿的这身衣服,啥,你说我这大红配大绿不好看,别瞧不起人,我的衣服都是从专卖店买的。

      6、我在商场逛,随便问一个服务员,你卖这衣服多少钱?她说,180元。我说,30元卖不?她说卖,然后就让我交钱,我说,我不买,就是随便溜达。

      7、太阳出来东方亮,山炮啥样我啥样

      8、多喜庆啊

      9、——我看你长得好年轻哦这化妆品好厉害哦眼瞅着都六十的人了谁能看出来了
         ——谁六十啊人家一朵花没开呢
         ——是啊仙人掌嘛六十年一开嘛

      10、piapia我就溜达,我可顽皮了呢!!

      11、人这一生其实可短暂了,有时候跟睡觉是一样一样的,眼睛一闭,一睁,一天过去了,嚎,眼睛一闭,不睁,这辈子过去了,嚎~~~~~~~

      12、我说你还追啊,我到家了!!

      13、不用拍,到我的班就是休息!

      14、我看谁没鼓掌,半夜趴你家窗户~~

      15、我的中文名叫小沈阳,我的英文名叫xiaoshenyang

      16、老妹儿,你能抓着我啊~~

      17、咿,这一着急穿跑偏了,哎呀妈呀,我说走道咋没有裆呐。

      18、我是有身份的人,什么是有身份的人呢?就是有身份证的人就是有身份的人!

      19、诶呀妈呀,我可稀罕我这个小包了(优语录www.arcadipienza.com)。Q7的,开不起我还背不起么!320……打完折15

      20、一般我自己能办到的事,从来不求别人。

      21、我走死你~~~~

      22、观众朋友们吖~~他们都说我长地像变态~!告诉你们,其实我可正常咧~!!!!

      23、哎呀妈呀,杀~人~啦~

      24、趴趴地就溜达,谁叫我也不回头。

      25、到我班儿了嚎,大伙儿不用老鼓掌.你们的手腕子一疼.我的心都疼.

      26、我这是棉(niao二声)花套只!!!!

      27、哎呀我说别人跑你不跑是吧…你藐视我是吧!我说你咋不蹽呐~~我来啦….

      28、来哥啊?我小唐,恩那~到女儿国了~老狠了~扇嘴巴子,piapia的!

      29、人不可貌相`海水不可瓢崴

      30、给朋友们来个另类点的,台湾著名歌星陈水扁的歌,送给大家。美国著名摇滚电视连续剧水浒传的主题,歌护花使者的片头曲刀郎的情人献给大家

      31、朋友们呐.他们都说乍瞅我长的磕碜.其实我一点也不磕碜.不信你细瞅…….还赶不上乍瞅呢哈

      32、我不是名人就是一人名

      33、这跟头我练七八年~

      34、想脱贫致富学唱二人转

      35、就那伊拉克你说国家都快黄了

      36、你瞅你长这么难看还出来溜达,在家呆着呗。就光看你都撞树上了

      37、感谢你们鸦雀无声~

      38、我虽然不是名人朋友们,但是像我们周边这些国家,像马来西亚、泰国、越南、新加坡,还有俄罗斯哈──我都没去过~

      39、别看我长得变态其实我老有才了

      40、这种感觉就是上气不接下气…啊吗…上就要断气

      41、阿姨阿姨夫你们好~

      42、(模仿阿杜)你听见了么?呃~我还没唱呢~

      43、老妹你别害怕我是人不是鬼阿~

      44、呸臭不要脸的~

      45、我给你讲我就穿我这身休闲~

      46、你说我是男是女噢这个问题给我也整矛盾了~

      47、奶奶你真不去噢那太好了~

      48、奶奶我不是玩意

      49、哥,你回来了?Sit down please!

      50、太阳出来照大地!欢迎大伙来看戏!要问我是哪一个,人送外号小巩俐!

      51、矿泉水喽~茶蛋香肠烤鱼片儿喽~小沈阳说他做飞机空姐就这么喊

      52、我代表我的保镖拉登,我的秘书安南,我的仆人水扁,我的宠物小泉,感谢朋友们这么捧我

      53、就是,有一种大海地感觉呢。。。

      54、亩嘛呀(这个读法读起来真像,感谢发明者),吃饭还能伤银呐?

      55、你咋害不撩尼?你藐视我是不?我来了。。。

      56、姐,姐你猜我这小包多钱你猜,320你信不,打完折15,嗯,老便宜了。

      57、哥啊你就是我亲爹

      58、出来吧四舅么(东北的“舅妈”发音“舅么”),那我叫你啥呢老婶!

      59、就溜达piapia地,谁招我我也不回头,就溜达。

      60、老妹儿你能抓住我呀!

      61、老妹你啥时候来的啊,咋不给我打电话呢?

      62、(一老头在坟前刻碑)孩子,你先睡吧。谁把我名抠错了我出来改改”

      63、哎呀我去,这不老萨吗,这不兰奇吗

      64、──哎妈呀哥,你是不是唱二人转那小子,你叫小沈阳啊?
          ──是怎么地?
          ──哎呀妈呀,我瞅你长得哈,有一种大海的感觉呢
          ──小妹儿你是不是喜欢我了呢,是不是爱上我了呢?
          ──哥吖,你别误会,我晕船,我一看到大海吧,我就想吐。

      65、说谁姑娘呢,人家是纯爷们

      66、人生最痛苦的事情是,人死了,钱没花了~~~~~!

      67、毕老师,你给我照个相呗~~

      68、到底有,还是没有啊?

      69、哎呀妈呀!

      70、哎哎?你别动,哎呀,你不那谁吗?你是那个(懵住了啊)别吵吵,别吵吵,朱军,不是朱军,不是,白岩松不是,老毕,你是毕老师吗?哎呀我的妈呀,毕老师来了,你咋出来了呢,哎呀我的妈呀,快来人哪,快来呀,一会儿该跑了~~毕老师~~

      71、四舅妈:就我最欣赏你咧~你长得太创意了~跟车祸现场似的~~这半辈子就含着眼泪过die~下辈子我一定要找一个骑着白马的王子。
          小沈阳:骑着白马的不一定是王子,唐僧有时也骑白马。
          四舅妈:唐僧也比你强。
          小沈阳:是,能过就过,不能过就吃肉呗~还能长生不老呢、。

      73、你说这玩意儿整的~

      74、这个..真没有..

      75、我的搭档并不好看,跟别的女孩不同,因为他是混血儿,他妈是沈阳的,他爸是天津的~

      76、想开心看二人转,想闹心就看一下足球,想往死了闹心就看一下中国足球

      77、必须地~~

      78、什么是善良呢?Hao~看见别人家的墙要倒,咱们没有能力去扶,但是咱们不推,这就是一种善良;别人在吃咸菜喝粥,咱们在吃肉,咱们没有能力分给别人一块,但是咱们尽量不吧唧嘴,这也是一种善良~~

      79、——老妹你知道你长得像谁吗?你自个不知道吗?
          ——不知道啊
          ——《倚天屠龙记》你看过吗?
          ——看过呀~
          ——里面那周芷若……
          ——呵呵是吗?
          ——她师傅,灭绝师太……

      80、最能装,可能得瑟了,老能得瑟了~~~

      81、打的老准了!~~~哎呀我去~~~~

      82、那个人儿一瞄哈,“啪”一枪,那苹果打稀碎稀碎的,这个人儿非常镇静滴吹了一下枪口:“呼~I'm佐罗。”

          那家伙一瞄,“啪儿”一枪,葡萄打稀碎稀碎的,这人儿也非常镇静吹了一下枪口:“呼~I‘m邦德。”

          到他的了,我心思他不得放个芝麻啥滴hao~?放这么大一个大西瓜呀~这家瞄啊~瞄三个来点,手都得哆嗦了,

          “啪嚓”一枪,那女的脑袋打稀碎稀碎的,当时周围看热闹的都吓完了,嗷嗷跑啊:“哎呀妈呀~~~杀人啦~~~~~”当时孙小宝非常镇静吹了一下枪口:“呼~I‘msorry。”

      83、哎老妹儿,咱俩谁大我也不知道,呵呵,我58年你多大了今年?你应该没我大hao?我管你叫老妹儿了噢?一块儿的,一起的吧?别生气,没事,别生气啊,不带急眼的啊,闹儿着玩的。

      84、踩我脚了~~~~~~~~!

      85、姐,你瞅我一眼呗?

      86、再玩儿会儿呗!

      87、拍照dia!田七~~~~

      88、音乐准备好了吗~~?Music!

      89、这种感觉就是上气不接下气。。。啊马。。。上就要短气

      90、小倩别动~~有照相滴~~!

      91、别(biè)说话了行不?跟你过这么些年了,不能换人,我还不能换名儿啊!!

      92、(火葬场)加点儿辣椒面儿不?

      93、保镖不白雇,有事真上啊。

      94、花是无罪的。

      95、——老妹儿,你能抓找我啊?(摔倒,鞋飞了)
          ——不你这是啥品种啊,这鞋还能飞出去啊?
          ——鞋为什么掉了呢?
          ——为什么呀?
          ——买大了!
          ——把我当弱智呢!!!

      96、三十晚上我吃了108个饺子,完睡不着觉,完我一合计这是怎么了尼?我寻思这是吃饱撑地~~```

      97、艳南,花是无罪地!!!!

      98、李大国,有种你下来,你臭不要脸!!!

      99、刘大脑袋说:"你就认准一米七了是不?""恩""那一米六九行不?""不行"

      100、活人钱不好挣啊~~~

      101、那人男的女的~是个男的~多大岁数了~21岁~英年早逝啊。。。

      102、刨根问底刨个稀烂,知道结果明年再见。

      103、大长脸:大爷,这屋太暗了,不行咱开展灯吧。
           小沈阳:你那镜头盖开了吗,三炮!。

      小沈阳沈鹤简介:

      小沈阳,原名沈鹤,2009年中央电视台春节联欢晚会中与师父赵本山、毕福剑、毛毛,搭档演出小品《不差钱》后,而在全国家喻户晓、一夜成名,成为2009年中国内地最为红火的文艺界的新秀。受到更多人的喜爱。2006年阴历八月十五拜赵本山门下,同年年底参加天津电视台春晚,一鸣惊人,在和星光大道等代表队的PK中大获全胜。小沈阳的这次演出在网络上爆红,得到众多网友追捧。曾与赵本山等出演电影,并在若干地方台春晚中表演节目。
      此文由经典语录(www.arcadipienza.com)整理发布,转载须保留该信息,谢谢!

       
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