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      腦殘笑話10則

      發布時間:2014-12-30 點擊:

      腦殘笑話10則

      1、某考生考了個倒數第一,回到家被他爸一頓暴揍,來到學校老師讓他談談落后的體會,學生:“我終于明白了“落后就要挨打”的道理!

      2、晚上散步回家,在小區門口踩了一坨翔,氣得當場就沖在附近休息的清潔工大罵:“你就這么光拿錢不干活嗎,我早上拉的怎么現在還在?”

      3、地鐵上有個孩子吵著要尿尿,哭聲震耳欲聾。車上人多,孩子的媽媽,那個年輕的女人一副很難為情的樣子,左顧右盼不知如何是好。這時我想到包里有個襪子,就遞給她,她說:“這個不好吧,會漏水的!薄皩に忌赌!?”我說:把嘴堵上!?”

      4、上周爬山,在一山崖下的石縫中,看到一本發黃的,臟兮兮的薄書,可能年代久遠,封皮已經損壞,但隱約可見“九陽”二字。心中不禁狂喜,這絕技江湖多年的《九陽真經》武功秘笈,終于讓我發現了! 用木棍將其小心翼翼掏出后,怕附近游客和村民發現,一把揣入懷中后,坐在車里一言不發,我浮想聯翩,任督二脈,刀槍不入,…… 終于到家了,把武功秘籍小心翼翼捧出來,懷著忐忑的心情翻看第一頁———"九陽豆漿機說明書"。

      5、唐僧:女王啊,你用其它女子的ID,在網上挑逗貧僧,貧僧上鉤了,這說明什么?說明貧僧花心?不。這說明,就算你換個名字,貧僧也一定會愛上你。無論何時何地,以何種方式出現,貧僧都會在茫茫人海中認出并愛上你,無法自拔,絕無幸免。

      6、上學那會,我看上了一個女孩,請教我的朋友,我該怎么追求她,朋友說,你要幫助他,讓她相信你,我說這怎么幫,他說制造困難也要幫。www.arcadipienza.com 后來我想到了,我把我自行車的鎖,鎖到了她車子上,放學后,她走不了,于是我過去問她,需要幫助嗎,她點了點頭,于是我掏出鑰匙打開了,她溫柔的對我說,你是傻比嗎

      7、今天上課聽寫,老師念:狼狽為奸。我一時腦抽狽字不會寫,瞄了一眼同桌的,去,她寫了個狼被圍奸!

      8、有個女孩告訴我,從一張自拍照里發現異地戀的男朋友出軌了。為什么呢?她說拍照的地方在洗手間,從鏡子里發現,自己的化妝品都被收起來了。我說這也不能代表什么吧?她說,如果男人突然把家里女人用的東西細心的收起來,尤其是化妝品沐浴露之類。只能證明,另外一個女人來過了。聽完,我感到陣陣寒意。

      9、唐僧師徒走到了深山老林,唐僧停下腳步說道:“就在此處休息,悟空你去化緣”悟空環顧四周,覺得妖氣很重,于是就用金箍棒在地上繞著師徒三人坐著的地方畫了一個圓圈。他說:“師傅,畫完了,你看圓不圓?”

      10、上班時,辦公桌對面的女同事老用穿絲襪的腿蹭我,我實在受不了,給她買了瓶達克寧

      Tags:腦殘 笑話 
       
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