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      分享最新情感語錄/爆笑笑話/幽默爆笑語錄/哲理句子/人生哲理感悟/一句話經典語錄…
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      搞笑幽默精選:有錢就是任性

      發布時間:2014-12-27 點擊:

      搞笑幽默精選,10則:

      1、剛交了個女朋友,第一次出去約會,女朋友說:“你看你這么忙還陪我出來逛街,多不好意思啊!碑敃r不知怎么腦子一抽順口來了句:“不礙事,就當遛狗了!笨粗笥岩荒樀暮诰我連忙補了兩句:“旺~旺!”女朋友轉怒為笑。好險,我太TM機智了!

      2、一哥們長相平平,喜歡和帥哥呆一起。時間長了大家都說你是不是搞基啊。二貨說:“不是啊,帥哥身邊美女多?茨懿荒軗靷漏。撿個漏?

      3、我在小區里開了一家羊雜碎飯店,時間久了,生意越來越來,熟客也越來越多,可是,問題來了,不知什么時候,大家進門坐下后,喊道:雜碎--。而我,會條件反射應答道:來咧!

      4、最近想紋個紋身,問完老爸自己確切出生時間段以后到網站查自己五行發現缺水,火。背景不割~~~然后到貼吧找了一個“五行缺水火,紋身紋什么好?”的帖子,尼瑪下面回復看完直接尿了:紋個火龍果,水果帶水,火龍帶火…臥槽…

      5、次和老婆吵架,我怒吼說:‘別以為你長的漂亮我就不敢罵你!’本以為她會高興的不再吵了。誰知道,二貨老婆:“別以為你說的好像很有道理的樣子我就不會打你了”

      6、充話費,尾號錯了一個數字給別人充了100!隨即發了一條信息給他:“不用謝,有錢就是這么任性!”半小時沒到10086信息顯示有300話費!短信也來了:“哥窮得就剩下錢了,你還是幫助別人吧!”

      7、有時候,狗喜歡你,可能只是因為你太像一坨屎。

      8、小明去找大師解夢。小明:我老是夢到會被美女強奸,這預示著什么呢?大師:夢都是相反的。小明:這么說我會強奸美女嗎?大師:不,你會被男人強奸!

      9、男子下班回家后,發現妻子全身赤裸躺著床上發抖,于是十分氣憤的吼道:都特么幾點了,飯怎么還沒做。妻子聽后馬上穿好衣服忙去做飯了。男子看了看凌亂不堪的床,然后心里不斷暗示自己,我是一個受過高等教育的人。我要冷靜!于是男子拿起膠布,把大衣柜封死,順窗戶推樓下去了。

      10、小明:“禪師,我女朋友好像有出軌,我哪里對不起他了”禪師指了指籠子里的猴子小明:“禪師你說我管的太嚴了,束縛她太多了嗎”禪師:“你他媽的長得像猴子一樣,誰不跑” 。

       
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