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      分享最新情感語錄/爆笑笑話/幽默爆笑語錄/哲理句子/人生哲理感悟/一句話經典語錄…
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      爆笑趣味笑話 圣誕節的禮物

      發布時間:2014-12-24 點擊:

      中午和媳婦看某電視導物,內衣。
      我說:一看就是假的,女人怎么可能長那么大?
      媳婦嚴肅的說:出門不許這么說,顯得你沒見過世面,也暴露我一些問題……

      悟空和二郎神大戰,悟空說:天宮沒人了嗎,怎么給我派個殘疾人來。
      二郎神大怒道:休要侮辱我,我怎么殘疾了。
      悟空說:長了三支眼為啥還帶導盲犬,該不是缺心眼吧。

      帶七歲的侄子去逛街,看見前面一個小蘿莉在吃冰糖葫蘆,侄子盯著看,一副念念不舍的樣子
      我說:想要不,叔叔給你買。
      他猶豫了一陣子,終于下定決心跟我說:叔,買賣兒童是犯法的!

      老家養著條大狼狗,有年夏天熱得不行了。
      就去水庫游泳。到了水邊一個猛子扎進去了.正準備往里游呢.笨狗把我拖出來了........

      以前玩游戲的時候認識一個女孩,暑假的時候約出來一起玩,大熱天,我就去買了兩瓶冰鎮飲料
      結果她說不喝,在我納悶的時候,妹子和我說“我現在中了一個持續掉血的技能,再喝這個,傷害點數會變大”
      半天哥們才了然

      抱著電腦去修,修電腦大哥抬頭對我說:“你這電腦挺值錢!”
      我說:“組裝才不到兩千,不值錢!
      那大哥緊接著又說:“關鍵E盤值錢!”
      我瞅了瞅他,心想:“你要這么說,我不跟你犟.”

      去復印店復印身份證,進去后掏出身份證和一張毛爺爺,心想復印也就一塊錢的事兒,怕店主找不開說:老板啊,我只有一張100的,您老看看給不給復?
      老板說:姑娘,對不住啊,我們這里不復印人民幣,有身份證也不行!

      剛到單位一女的上來就是給我一嘴巴子
      “你干嘛打我啊”
      “我呸,你昨晚上在我夢里做那點破事你不知道嗎”
      我…………

      幼兒園:一老師和孩子說:“孩子們,快過圣誕節了,你們想要什么禮物?
      孩子們七嘴八舌的說著……”。
      末了問老師: “老師你想要什么禮物呢?”
      老師說:“蘋果6”。
      第二天,一個孩子讓媽媽給拿了一袋蘋果來,數了數正好6個,多可愛的孩子啊。

      和班花關系不錯。約好一起去校門口賣花賣蘋果的。不一會,我的賣完了。
      去看她,還有多一半呢。www.arcadipienza.com 心想她一個小公主,做這些挺不容易的。所以過去安慰她。
      結果她告訴我說,有好多是買完之后當時就送給她的。作為回報,她給了那些買家電話號碼。
      她笑著說:留的都是你的電話。
      嗯,班花,看來老娘沒白認識你。哈哈哈哈

      小明問爸爸:"爸爸,什么才是男子漢?"
      爸爸說:"就是能自己養活一家人,頂天立地得,一家之主。
      小明說:"啊,好厲害啊,那我以后也要做像媽媽一樣的人。

       
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