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      分享最新情感語錄/爆笑笑話/幽默爆笑語錄/哲理句子/人生哲理感悟/一句話經典語錄…
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      2014笑話精選 在路上看到一起車禍

      發布時間:2014-12-19 點擊:

      2014笑話精選:

      1、盆友結婚,第一天QQ簽名:我終于要結婚了,那些曾經愛我的和我愛的未能在一起的女人啊,都替自己默哀十分鐘吧!第二天改為:媳婦,我錯了……

      2、今天在路上看到一起車禍,一家人全撞死了,只剩下一個孩子,孩子聲涕俱下,我剛報完警,旁邊的劇組人員嫌我多事把我打了一頓。

      3、上課時正津津有味的玩手機,突然坐在窗邊的同學喊:“校長來了!蔽疫B忙把手機藏好然后清了清嗓子:“同學們,今天來講第三章!

      4、妹子:“啊啊啊好郁悶啊小論文要求三千字我寫到兩千九怎么也寫不下去了!”學霸:“這有何難。你在最后連打啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊打一百次……”妹子:“氣死老師的節奏?” 學霸:“然后把字體顏色改成白色就行了!泵米有老驳貨_出門去

      5、我晚上看電視基本不用自己家的電視,我全是看我們對面那家人的,他家電視和我家一個型號。我坐在窗臺上,他們看啥我看啥,有時候節目不好看,我一腦抽就用我手中的遙控器把頻道換了,一換就是連換十多個頻道,對面一家子都呆了~~

      6、我老婆是一個刁蠻任性的人。今天她又哭著吵著要買名牌包包,我抬手就是一耳光對她喝道:“還要不要?”她看了我一眼繼續大哭,我心一狠,連續扇了十個耳光喝道:“還要不要?”www.arcadipienza.com 迫于我的威嚴,她終于不再哭鬧了?粗@頭母老虎被我制服,我摸了摸自己早已紅腫的臉笑了。

      7、我是一個苦逼的程序員,昨晚加班到現在,困得快睜不開眼了,女上司很關心,問我要不要吃午飯,我沒好氣地說:午飯就算了,能讓我睡一覺就行了,女上司紅著臉說了句討厭啊,然后坐在我身邊不動,好像距離我很近,搞得我很緊張,難道她發現我的程序出問題了?

      8、夜晚想要矯情的時候,忍住,通常吃個宵夜就好了,把想說的話講給你的泡面、炒飯和烤串聽。等它們聽了太多你的秘密,就把它們吃掉。

      9、早上,逗比室友就開始放老歌,沒忍住加了兩句:你問我愛你有多深?(十八厘米)愛你有幾分?(三分鐘。└杏X一不小心發現這首歌真相了~

      10、一3歲小屁孩,蹲地上和小伙伴們玩泥巴,他爸媽就在一邊吵起來了,小伙伴問他,你爸媽吵啥?這時小孩悠悠的來了一句:我哪管得了那么多啊,兒孫自有兒孫福!

      Tags:笑話 精選 
       
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