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      分享最新情感语录/爆笑笑话/幽默爆笑语录/哲理句子/人生哲理感悟/一句话经典语录…
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      个性女生的爆笑语录:一吐为快[原创]

      发布时间:2012-02-01 点击:

      前言:本文为原创,一吐为快是作者命名的标题,内容相当经典有趣,本文由作者授权首发至本网(优语录网 www.arcadipienza.com),转载保留版权。

      1.你要是想去死的时候来跟我商量一下,看我要不要陪你一起。

      2.跟你说过多少次了不要裸睡,现在地震这么多,被挖出来时是具裸尸不好看,影响也不好。

      3.老娘每天想你,下巴都瘦了,以后要是被抛弃,就算减肥成功。

      4.强调过很多次了,不要在打雷时给我打电话,被雷劈死不仅来不及留遗言,而且死后的容貌姿势还有声誉都会很难看,这不符合我的美学。再者,我的小命要是丢了,你也不免会难过。

      5.你难道不觉得世界的角角落落都有可能藏着被抛弃的尸体吗,反正我誓死不离开阳光。

      6.你怎么会有这种兴趣呢,整天盼着我失恋,不过,等我哪天心情好说不定就成全你了。

      7.你也就仗着我爱你才敢在这儿肆无忌惮的威胁我,哪天把老娘欺压到暴发,等着玉石俱坟同归于尽吧。

      8.不要跟我玩心思,让你绞尽脑汁我会感到抱歉的,如果挡了你的道,跟我讲一声,我一定给你让开。和平是当今世界的主题嘛。

      9.说了你也不相信,我曾经是个诗人,作为诗人,我鄙视过你们所有人。而现在我是个该被所有人鄙视的小女人,因为我太爱我老公了。

      10.谁要敢挡我成佛的道儿,休怪贫妮手下无情。

      11.你喜欢淑女关我屁事儿,最好滚出我口水的射程之外,老娘天生粗犷,你欣赏不来

      12.一顿不吃肉饿得慌,试图建议我减肥的男人都不得好死。

      13.为了不洗碗而忍着饿不吃饭,为了不叠被而受着冻不展被,(优语录www.arcadipienza.com)为了不洗衣服而穿着睡衣宅在家,为了不扫地而不乱扔垃圾,在这节约型社会里尽力做着一个节约的良民,你凭什么说我懒呢。爆笑语录

      14.喜欢我的人自然会喜欢我的肥和懒,我一直都坚信这一点并自我感觉良好的活着的,你别太早告诉我真相。

      15.虽然我平时只是说这个世上最不缺的就是男人,但其实还包含着这世上也不缺女人,你搞一张女人的相片给我看是要气谁呢,还指望老娘吃醋不成,你们最好双宿双飞出我的视线,谢天谢地。

      16.你要再敢装鬼吓我,小心我控制不住想把你打成鬼的冲动。

      17.世界末日到了,你愿意把你收集的安眠药全部拿来孝敬我吗,孩子?

      18.如果你以后变心了,你真的同意我去泼你硫酸吗,来签一份同意书吧,免得我到时候坐牢。

      19.我决定了,为了我的幸福,就牺牲你吧。

      20.老娘最近心痛得要死,一句豪言壮语也说不出来!

      21.姐,你所选衣服的颜色真的已经到了很边缘很怪异很危险的地步,听我的劝,就在彩虹里选颜色吧。

      22.别跟我诉苦寻求同情,比悲惨你又比不过我。

      23.你要去打麻将就去呗,不用表面上自言自语的申明个中利害,实则变向的向我寻求宽容与支持,我只是一个小孩子,又管不了你。

      24.这么热的天,我们离彼此远点吧,你滚还是我滚?

      25.对你好不是因为我惜你的才,只是单纯的惜你的人,因为你根本就不是个人才!

      26.为了骗我,你日日夜夜的撒谎,对于你的这份辛苦与执着,我表示钦佩与感动,但是你已经不可原谅了!这个差点毁了我阳光生活的人,绝对不可原谅!

      27.被人骗是一件很丢人的事,念在我涉世未深这是头一次,你不要嘲笑我好不好。

      28.要不你借我一笔钱,让我活得有点压力?!

      29.我想挖个洞,对它说个秘密,然后覆土埋掉,重点是我相中你去做培葬。

      30.你以为自己可以感动得他改邪归正,真是太TMD天真了

      31.你的脑袋是被奥妙洗衣粉洗过的,变得奥妙无穷,根本就不是老娘能够理解的逻辑范畴

      32.我本来没这个打算的,现在被你一提点,我倒是很有兴趣致力于破坏你的名声,反正我闲着也是闲着

      33.我嫁不成,你也休想娶

      34.我快乐的时候,唯恐有人比我还快乐。我痛苦的时候,唯恐没有人比我更痛苦

      35.我已经说了很多次了,我目前对任何人任何事都丧失好奇与热情,不要给我介绍朋友,现有的朋友已经够我消化一辈子了

      36.讨厌死了,整天各种陌生人潜进空间来跑堂,再谁进来不留言,咒TA回家没饭吃

      37.本文个性女生的爆笑语录,版权属于经典语录优语录网,未经本站允许,请勿随意转载。

      38.我很想当你的面吐你口水骂你SB,但念你曾在不明我真面目时傻傻的说喜欢我的份上,(经典语录 www.arcadipienza.com)我给你留点面子,只在背地里骂一骂解气,你TMD的再这么跟我说话,老娘绝对删了你。

      39.这几天老回忆起饭友西瓜,要是所有人像他一样对我好的同时又不把我当女生看就好了,大家向他学习啊

      40.我其实一直都有在想来年你们准备怎么处罚我,最好让我当着全院做个深刻检讨,反正你们这帮家伙最喜欢听别人念一些狗屁不通又没意义的检讨。我一定去理发店化个美丽的妆,仪态万方的给全院被我损害了相关利益的人做你们想要的检讨,只要不让各别讨厌的人再单独来我耳边磨磨唧唧就行。

      41.我觉得我们只有一成熟,离五分熟还差得远呢,你怎么好意思一逮着我上飞信就来和我聊天,这种浅熟的关系我都不好意思拒绝你了,你无聊找飞信助手聊好了啊,老打扰我做什么

      42.神啊,不要再让这种贱人出现在我的视野里了

      43.如果你一定要质问我为什么要用上班的时间玩游戏,我只能这样回答你,因为您这里提供给我工作的电脑比我家里自己的电脑分辨率高,玩起来爽一些,而且不工作的时候我要睡觉,哪里有闲功夫玩游戏?

      44.我得很遗憾的告诉你,你充满鄙视的语气称我为“小市民”是不对的,事实证明,我们家世世代代都是农民,成份清白,我顶多只能是个“小农民”

      45.老板迟到十分钟,那我一定会选择迟到九分钟,去你的准时上班,俗话都说了,来得早不如来得巧。

      46.我宁可把我的时间拿去喂狗,也不会分一秒钟给你!

      47.懒得和你这种缺心眼的傻 B争辨,我又不是你妈,没义务教你怎么做人

      48.都说弱智儿童欢乐多,你虽说是成年人,但好歹也还是个弱智,怎么就成天这么苦大愁深的

      49.你自认为自己算根葱就好了,别把自己当盘菜啊。

      50.我有可能也喜欢女人,希望以后能先遇到一个喜欢的男人,否则就来修道院探望我吧。

      优语录网评:作者虽是花样少女,但直爽霸气、爆笑的语言,却显得她非常与众不同。语录很经典,很多句子都是奇思怪想,夸张又合理,挺逗的,很显个性。

      (语录待续~未完~喜欢请继续关注更新!如果您也想发表您的经典语录,可联系本站QQ454433360)

       
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